Posts Tagged Wooties
Wooties: Trouble at the Banana Stand
Now the story of a wealthy family…
Woot Shirt, Trouble at the Banana Stand
Andrew Ridgeley Bluth had volunteered for extra shifts at the family banana stand under the pretense of picking up some extra money. In truth, he was hoping to avoid his cousin, Possibly, and his feelings for her. Unbeknownst to him, Gob had procured the services of seven chimpanzees trained in the art of Ninjitsu for his magic act.
“Gah!”
What he didn’t know was that Possibly had taken a taxi down to the banana stand specifically to discuss her feelings for him.
“Possibly!”
“Oh my god, Andrew Ridgeley! Are you okay?”
“Yeah! Well, no, uh, I mean, probably, but, well, could you call the police? Or something?”
Just then Jebediah, who happened to be sunning himself in a ridiculous pink thong in the hopes of avoiding tan lines for an upcoming audition, stumbled unwittingly into the crowd of nunchaku-wielding simians.
“Aaagh! Andrew Ridgeley, get over here and spank my monkey!”
“Uh…what?”
“Oh, I apologize. I shouldn’t have said that; how inappropriate! I meant to say, ‘get over here and spank my ape.’ Jebediah you’re a doctor, you should know the difference between these things!”
“That’s not really what I was asking abou-”
“Andrew Ridgeley, I have hold of this flailing monkey and the only way it will ever learn not to attack people is if you deliver a little corporal punishment. Now come spank this monkey!”
Wear this shirt: To your Pop-Pop’s arraignment.
Don’t wear this shirt: To your meeting with Kitty Sanchez. You’ll be overdressed.
This shirt tells the world: “I’m holding out for the movie!”
We call this color: Prematurely-Cancelled Cranberry
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Totally a random shirt that I had no idea what it was from at first, but then I learned. I hadn’t watched Arrested Development when I got it, and I didn’t even watch the show because of this shirt, it was the other A Rooster Development shirt that got me to watch the show so I would understand it a bit better. This was a total win though.
Plus, I know someone who owns a banana suit like that.
Wooties: A Rooster Development
Cock-A-Doodle-Shirt
Woot Shirt, A Rooster Development
6th Place in Derby #300: What makes me different, with 228 votes!
Everyone always talks about how much they like Arrested Development, but I don’t know how people can get past the repeated continuity error that occurs throughout the show. I am, of course, talking about the chicken dance.
The characters are dancing like chickens, they’re calling each other chickens, they’re even making noises like chickens, but they aren’t chickens! They’re human! What gives?
How am I supposed to follow this tale of a dysfunctional family? How am I supposed to get invested in their relationships? How am I supposed to care if they get burned by a Cornballer when there’s always this glaring error in the background?
Now, if only the characters were to be actual chickens (or roosters), that would be a lot more logical. They would be doing a chicken dance because they’re chickens. Finally, it would be a show that would make some sense. THAT would be something I could get behind.
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So, this was the shirt that got me to watch Arrested Development. I liked the look of the shirt, but I couldn’t bring myself to wear it if I didn’t know or understand the background of the shirt. It’s a win from my point of view.
Wooties: Bats!
Batshirt Crazy
Woot Shirt, Bats!
Hey! Who’s that flapping those membranous wings, on a nocturnal mission straight into our hearts? Bats! Armed with sonar, rabies, and possibly shape-shifting abilities, these flying guano-pumpers have found a new roost: right on your chest. Unlike the bats offered by other deal-a-day web sites, this fetching pair is guaranteed disease-free. They may bite you while you’re sleeping and slurp at the wound for nourishment, but what’s a little blood between mammals?
Designed by: Chicago artist, impostor, cartoonist, crank caller, musician, and blogger Derek Erdman, who also finds time to obsess over The Fall and officiate weddings, baptisms, and funerals.
Wear this shirt to: your Weight Watchers meetings, to let everyone else know about the hottest, healthiest low-fat alternative to beef – bat meat.
Don’t wear this shirt to: the northern Brazilian state of Maranhao, where bats bit over 1,000 people during a 2005 infestation, killing 23. The locals might not see the humor in it.
This shirt tells the world: “I dream of soaring through the air, wild and free, ingesting insects all the while.”
We call this color: Non-Coagulated Red.
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This is a weird shirt, but I like it. It’s simple, to the point and just is simple. Who doesn’t like bats anyway?
Wooties: Le Chat dans la Boite
Wöötinger’s Cat
Woot Shirt, Le Chat dans la Boite
We are all both alive and dead in the imagination of a doomed feline. Maybe.
The Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment postulates that, given the strange dynamics of quantum mechanics, a cat trapped in a box whose life depended on the decay of a certain radioactive substance can be considered both alive AND dead until the box is opened. Pretty mind-bending stuff, but we’re going to kick it up a notch with something we call the Wöötinger’s Cat hypothesis:
What if the universe we currently occupy is just a figment in the imagination of a cat that is trapped in a Schrödinger-like contraption? This hypothesis may remind some aged viewers of the popular 80s show St. Elsewhere, more specifically the “Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis” in which most popular media at the time existed in the imagination of the eponymous, autistic youngster.
We are all living in the snow globe! Except instead of a snow globe it’s something that a cat that both exists and doesn’t exist would be thinking about. Maybe a cat food bowl.
KABOOOOOOOM
Sorry, did you hear something? Oh it was just the simultaneously blowing of the Shirt.Woot audience’s collective mind? Excellent.
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I don’t totally get this one, I originally thought it was some sort of literary reference, but from what I can tell it’s all related to physics and quantum mechanics. It’s beyond me, but it doesn’t look terrible, I just happened to get a bunch of random shirts all related to cats in a short period of time. I think I was just a little unlucky.
Wooties: Cat Taco
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
Woot Shirt, Taco Cat
Aw, mom, we’re having rigatoni pony again?
When you want a snack that’s also a pet, you don’t want to fill up with an enchilada llama or a tamale collie. You want a self-sufficient treat that requires minimal attention but still tastes delicious. You want a taco cat!
With a layer of questionable but fully cooked meat, tomatoes diced to hide the bad spots, and mostly washed lettuce, the taco cat is hearty yet streetsmart, fulfilling yet passionate, and best of all, doused in a fiery sauce that makes it impossible to taste a single subtle flavor. And did we mention that crunchy corn shell?
Don’t force yourself to keep struggling through an entire barbacoa boa or a little pile of empanada pandas. Get just the amount of pet you need with taco cat! Also available in blue corn or calico.
Wear this shirt: while putting on the ritz. That’s right, we went there.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re the sort of person who will point out it’s a palindrome every time you wear it. We don’t care, jerkface. Go home.
This shirt tells the world: “Hey, just wondering, but has anyone ever played the Meow Mix song over a latin beat?”
We call this color: Red Beans And Rice
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I bought this one because I thought it was cute, turns out it offends some people because of some slang interpretations that you can make from it. I didn’t see it right off the bat though, but I can see how it could be. I don’t wear it often, but I do like it.
Wooties: cmykf5
And Our Umber Got Totally Burnt
Woot Shirt, CMYKF5
1st place in Derby #94: Air, with 1213 votes!
GREIGEVILLE – Residents are still reeling from the multichromatic devastation unleashed here by a tornado of color early Friday morning.
Rated an F5 on the intensity scale, the tornado descended upon the taupe and cream streets with it a garishly vivid horror rarely seen in the area.
“This has always been a nice, neutral-toned kind of town,” said local egg farmer Buff Ecru, 57. “I’d never even heard of ‘cyan’.
“I wish to hell I still hadn’t.”
The town’s main street, Ivory Boulevard, was virtually unrecognizable in the wake of the storm, its pale storefront facades a brilliant chaos of color. A handwritten sign posted Friday on a popular local restaurant, the Clamshell, read CLOSED FOR DECOLORIZATION. At this point, nobody can say exactly when the Clamshell will resume serving its signature vanilla-and-marshmallow milkshakes. But residents had larger worries.
“The Elks Hall is magenta,” Ecru continued, clearly shaken. “Think about that: magenta. Who ever heard of a magenta elk? It’s wrong.”
City officials vowed to begin cleanup immediately and salvage as much of the town’s historic drabness as possible. But whatever happens, one thing is certain: life here will never look the same again.
Wear this shirt: to reassure everybody in the basement with you that tornadoes can be fun.
Don’t wear this shirt: and try to make jokes about how you’re a colored person.
This shirt tells the world: “Cy-y-y-yan…over you…”
We call this color: White Is Too A Color
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So this one came as a random shirt that I bought, I didn’t know what shirt was coming for me, and I can’t say it really made much sense to me and it doesn’t really fit my style, I know I ended up giving it to someone at some point, no idea who though. I also freely admit that I don’t really get it, it’s a color tornado… but yeah… this was a #RandomFail when it came to getting a random shirt.
Wooties: In Training
So this one is a fun one that I like, but I need to only wear it when I am not wearing anything else since this is on the back of the shirt, not the front of the shirt.
Woot Shirt: In Training
The Title of this shirt is “In Training” and this is what Woot had to say about it….
Yodad
2nd Place in Derby #311: Back in Back , with 325 votes!
You know… I might… wear mine… backwards?
OKAY, OKAY! It’s weird, I’ll admit it, but I have often indulged in fantasies where I am a father, but not just to a normal baby. In these fantasies, I’m Yoda’s father. I’m walking the streets with him in a Baby Bjorn. People are walking up to me, saying, “What an adorable baby!” And I’m saying, “Oh, why thank you! He’s got his mother’s eyes.”
And then at night, when I’m tucking him in, he’ll look up at me and say, “Love you father, I do.” And I’ll get teary-eyed and say, “Love you Yo-yo, I do too.” And it’ll be a super tender, touching moment.
I’m sorry.
Wooties: BOC
So here we go with my first one…
Woot Shirt, Bandolier of Carrots
This is the first one I ever got, I got it back when I bought 3 Random Shirts for 6.66 each, then I used a 5 dollar off coupon to make it nice. I got this one, it is a Bandolier of Carrots and it is a reference to the use of that term from the Woot Word Filter Auto-Substitution list for words in the customer forums, Bandolier of Carrots would show up to replace Bag of Crap or BOC at one point in time.
Woot’s Description…
One time only! Limited release! Not available in stores! No rainchecks! Do not eat! You’ve heard the rumors…you’ve seen the prototypes…now this much-anticipated, never substantiated design steps into the glaring Shirt.Woot spotlight for the first (and probably last) time! It’s like a word filter you can wear! We won’t be offering an ongoing sale for this one – when it’s gone, it’s gone. What can we say? Carrots, like inside jokes, are highly perishable.
This shirt was designed by: a visionary who believed that there had to be a better way to transport our carrots.
Wear this shirt: so you can truthfully tell people that you finally got a BOC.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you plan to re-sell it on eBay. You’ll stretch it out and stink it up.
This shirt tells the world: “It’s a crap thing – you wouldn’t understand.”
We call this color: Bland Olive Color.
Wooties
Posted by nedster in Annoucements, Fun, Purchases, Woot on 2013/12/06
Wooties, that is what I use to refer to the T-Shirts I buy from Woot.com, sometimes I know what they are going to be, other times I haven’t the slightest clue what is going to end up on my doorstep wrapped in plastic and dropped off by the mailman.
So I am going to post a little bit about each shirt that I have, an image from Woot itself of the design, and then the text of how they originally described it.
I am also tagging them all as one of the following:
RandomFail: These are shirts I bought without knowing the shirt I was getting, and when I got it I was really underwhelmed and probably got rid of it or don’t wear it often or at all.
RandomMeh: These are shirts I bought without knowing the shirt I was getting, and I am mostly ambivalent about them, I don’t dislike then, but I don’t overtly like them either.
RandomWin: These are shirts I bought without knowing the shirt I was getting, and I like them a lot and think they are pretty awesome for shirts.
BoughtIt: These are shirts that I actually knew exactly what I was getting when I bought it.